William the Goose and his Gaggle

January 15, 2009

Suddenly and without notice,  William (age unknown), his beloved wife Sarah (age unknown) and their beloved children: Agnes (age unknown), Irving (age unknown), Hortense (age unknown), Daffy (age unknown), Ishtar (age unknown), and others awaiting DNA test reports were senselessly mowed-down by a hit and run Airbus 320 later identified as U.S. Air Flight 1549 as it made a illegal maneuver over the Hudson River.  The family of geese were sucked into two jet engines from behind without any warning. FAA procedures require jets flying at speeds in excessof 400 mph to honk three times within 500 feet of an organized flying formation for any species of bird in excess of 4 lbs.  The bodies were not recoverable.  The Foie Grois Association has registered a protest with the FAA demanding a full investigation. 

Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger hailed around the world as a hero for saving the lives of 155 passengers is being sought for questioning by the Foie Grois Association that is demanding a full apology to the entire  population of flying birds around the world.  Said a distraught Arnold the Goose, William's, brother who was not in the V-formation at the time but trailing the flock, "If Captain Sullenberger is supposed to be such a hot s*** pilot, why couldn't he  avoid killing my entire family in the first place. It is particularly distressing to know that he is an expert in pilot safety and yet showed a wanton disregard for the well-being of those who share the flight lanes with him!" Uncontrollably sobbing, Arnold continued, "I am deeply offended that this horrific incident is being referred as the 'Miracle on the Hudson'-- what miracle? To my family this was wasn't a miracle. It was a massacre."

A Memorial Service is expected at a future date once DNA testing has been completed and dental records have been examined for any potential matches for  the entire gaggle of geese.   Former Vice President Dick Cheney, a well-known hunting conservationist, is expected to deliver the eulogy.

see video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny9q0KM3Ca8

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/us_world/How-a-Flock-of-Birds-Can-Take-Down-a-Plane.html

Update on Monday, January 26, 2009 at 01:26AM by Stickman ED

After recovering the engines of U.S. Air Flight 1549, FAA officals found a single feather